Live In The Now

With the world seemingly spinning faster each day, it forces my head to do the same.

Each day brings me closer to the looming future, the unknown destination, where anything could happen. That's the problem though, the not knowing, that makes me crazy. Looking toward the future, I see twenty different outcomes.

There's a happy, successful Amanda with a great job and social living in a beautiful apartment in the city. Then, there's the polar opposite- Amanda working a dead-end job, unable to find a job in her field after college. This Amanda lives in a dumpy apartment, or maybe a box, and can barely make ends meet.

In between these two Amandas, there is a gray fog, a swirl of colors, and just a smudge of what could be. I just don't know what to expect.

Because of this unknown, I find myself reaching backward to old friends and memories, trying to cling on with everything I have until my knuckles are a ghostly white. When life is flying by you so fast it knocks you over, it's easy to get nostalgic about the fun times in high school- going to prom, cheerleading at the football games, and being silly with friends.

Now the future is looming over my head like an ominous rain cloud, ready to open up and pour down on me at any second.

I think that being a college student is hard because of this uncertainty, or it might just be only my neurotic self worrying like this. But, as a college student, I have the wonderful opportunity to broaden my education while having a great time. It's so easy to get caught up in the fun, and lose track of time until all of a sudden, they're calling your name to walk across the stage to grab that diploma. I know I'm kind of jumping the gun on this since I do have 3 years left of college. I just worry because I know those 3 years are going to fly.

I guess all I can do is just do my best to prepare myself for the future. I have a wonderful internship now, and plan on continuing to build my resume next year at school as well.

However, at the same time, I need to slow, stop freaking out, and enjoy the ride.

In the words of Ryan Atwood from the O.C., "Live in the now." (I'm a dork, I know.)